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Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

I have decided to stay home today. There are things that I will feel better if I tidy up around here. I will go out and play next weekend over New Years, although I haven't decided where yet. I'm thinking someplace solitary, but that is subject to change.

I slept on the waterbed last night. So did the cat. For the first time in a year we both had room to stretch out. The cat seems as content as I am about the decision to set the bed up. As I take posession of this house, it is really in preparation to say goodbye to it. A nice paradox that, but it works for me. As my future gets closer I feel more free to enjoy what is now. My countdown timer says 790 days, and 13 minutes until my hike. In one perspective it seems a long ways away. When I think of what has to happen before then, I feel the time rushing by. It's time to let go of more and more of my past in the form of clothes, dishes, books, just plain stuff. Time to look back and cherish who I was as I make room for who I am becomming.

I wrote in my new paper journal last night. The first page has now been sullied, or claimed depending on my perspective at the time. I also read a few parts of the book that Nancye gave me. It is a book of essays gathered from the writings of nature writers, meant to be read on the trails. It was Frank's book before he died. Nancye knew that I would appreciate that fact as much or more as I do reading the book itself. It reminds me that I ended up with some of his science fiction paperbacks that I need to see if her son Stephen wants now. Frank would like that, I think, us passing he books around. I wonder who else in his group of friends felt a need to save his multitudes of books piled around at the yard sale of his things so many years ago.

Went to my parent's yesterday. Mom actually cooked a nice meal. My Dad is in no real shape to go out to eat, so it was nice to gather at the table, something we had gotten out of the habit of doing. She liked the bird feeders I got her, and the pictures Nancye took of me and printed off. She gave me some rubber jar openers, which I use as sink stoppers in hotel sinks while doing hand laundry. Also some binoculars, a keychain, and money. I kinda feel badly about the money part, but decided that graciousness was called for. Mom had vetoed the can of nuts for Dad, so her gift to him of 2 fleece shirts was from both of us. Dad couldn't keep straight if we'd opened our gifts yet or not while we ate, kept asking Mom if I liked what she'd gotten me. At one point he said something about a big bird in the room. I acted as if he had just misunderstood what I'd just said and went on. Mom is going to try to get the doctor to cut down his medications in hopes that this is what his main mental issue is.

Today will be the start of my year-end gathering and sorting and figuring out if I made any financial progress this year and looking ahead to the next year to see what I need to do. I have 4 days off again next weekend, and then the next Monday I'm off out of town for another 3 weeks.

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