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Monday, May 26, 2008

Journaling

I finally have some framework for what I think I want to accomplish before I leave. Good, since it is the 3rd day of the 3 day weekend. So, I start laundry and then put on shoes and go out to start bringing in the pieces of the second shelving unit. It's too heavy to bring in without unpacking it and just carrying the pieces in. On the second of what will take a dozen trips the nice overcast morning turned into a hard rain storm. So, I'm back on the computer.

I'm feeling somewhat bored with the journals I currently read, and bored with my own. So, I started going to some of the ones listed on Madcap Mum's journal sidebar. I went to 3, and all of them have not posted since the end of the year. That is 5 or 6 months. A couple of them even admitted defeat. One, a fourth, was pulled and not even available anymore. Is this journaling harder than it looks, as I've found? Or a phase that the internet and society have gone through that is waning? Did the people not find what they thought an on-line journal would provide, fill a need they thought they had, provide a solution to some set of problems that continued even after dutifully journaling?

I am seeing it in some of the hikers on the AT, too. The start of the hike begins with hope and promise and the newness, a chance to reinvent who and what they are. Then, after awhile it is just getting up every morning to eat a boring breakfast, find water, and walk. Always to walk. So, the talk stops being about what is seen on the trail, the people and places. It becomes the miles walked that day, and how many more to go, and when they might finish. Not across the board with every hiker. Some leave the trail because of injury, some family pressures, some boredom.

So, I'm feeling the restless boredom also. Things are going well. I'm in the middle with no new issues for now. This should be good. However, I'm feeling weighted down by the familiar. The shifting and sorting through the things that have been piled on corners brings up uneasy emotions. To get rid of? It seems like I'm turning my back on my past, but is that all bad? To keep? That seems stagnant, heavy.

The rain is slowing. I need to get up and get moving. My thoughts today seem as dark and gloomy as the weather.

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