Living

While driving from work to a hiker get together that I organized (that overstates the fact that I was the one to post 'let's go eat pizza'), I was pondering the quote I posted yesterday. Specifically I wondered how I could 'live' right then, that day. I decided that for that day I was doing ok. I was leaving work feeling good about things. I've been learning SQL 2005 Express, playing more than seriously. I do seem to have more database experience than my co-workers in my group, so I feel like I can help further the general knowledge in this area. I was headed to see some friends and meet new ones. For once I got good marks on my 'living' score.

Today I left work feeling like shit. I apologized to a co-worker for mis-interpreting a situation and walking into his class. I thought they were pretty much done for the day and he was not in the room and the folks taking the class were just sitting around talking. I asked to use a machine one of them had built in the class to check out something. Turned out that the class was still going on, he had apparently just stepped out or they were on break or something. Anyway, he merely told me how upset he was I had done that and never acknowledged my comments of apology. Instead of feeling like I bring something to the group, I ended up feeling like I am a troublemaker. I really, really wish, I don't know what. I guess I wish I could learn to like this job. It has potential, and I make good money. I just end up pissed off more often than I feel good about it.

I'm not going to Iraq. The guy who gets all the good trips is going. I thought that because he's on a new contract that might free up this trip, but they are bringing him back to do this. I probably won't get any of the overseas trips anyway. Not the way the clique that is in power feels about me. Oh well.

In good news, I got an email from Phil, and he is doing ok after his surgery and they have downgraded the level of his cancer. Thank you God.