Tonight I passed a crossroads in my life. Probably a small one in the grand scheme of things. Maybe not small. Only time will tell that. However, after making the decision, I felt a need to get some insight from someone who has known me long enough to give me a long range reflection. I called a good woman friend who has been extremely close to me in the past, who I've known for at least 25 years. She was in bed asleep, but her live-together boyfriend of the past 20 some years answered. I told him "I need someone to tell me I'm a selfish bitch, and who better than you?" He laughed, and quite willingly told me I'm a selfish bitch. Why no one better than him? He's my x-husband.
We talked about my situation, which was a relationship I just walked away from. He rather amazingly, or maybe not so amazingly all things considered, gave me some excellent things to think about. Nothing that really changed my mind, but some of the insight I needed. It reminded me why so long ago I had married him. I've never been sorry I married him, and I've also never been terribly sorry we divorced 2 years later. After some time to let the negative emotions die down, and when he started dating JoEllen who was a good friend of mine already, he and I got back to being friends. Friends is what we did best all along anyway.
So, on a night when I'm a bit pensive about yet again not making a relationship work I also am sitting in amazement about that other one that works so well even 30 years or so after that first night we sat talking over pizza and beer.