This is the last full day in the States. Early (waaaay early) tomorrow morning I board a flight back 'home'. Truth is, the concept of HOME is getting fuzzy for me. I did a post one time I was back about being homeless. It is something that keeps me on edge when I'm back every time. Little things. Trash is a major problem if I'm not tethered to someone else's home. There really are few places to legally put trash if you are just passing through. At least that I've found so far. Also, pressing 'Go Home' on the GPS always by definition now takes me to someone else's home, Mom's at this point. A little thing, but it adds up. Hand laundry and finding wireless internet access are more difficult if I'm not staying in the same place more than one night, as when I was staying at the Casinos. Being able to just sit someplace alone and veg means paying for a hotel room or buying coffee at McDonalds for their 'free' wireless. It is always metered time, based on price.
Another issue I have is that when I'm living in the States, I do my business related stuff and messing with my possessions while at home, then I travel someplace and visit on vacation. Now, I need to do all of the above while I'm on vacation. No time to sleep in, no time to see everyone, no time to really organize my stuff. Ok, less stuff would help that last part.
So, I have mixed feelings about vacations back 'home'. I found myself thinking sometime around Wednesday that I was ready to head back to Honduras. That surprised me, but mostly I'm ready to just be able to sit and relax and not have to socialize. I'm a loner. The pull between taking advantage of precious time to see friends/family and my need to be alone is taking a toll. So, tomorrow I get on a plane and head back to Honduras. Not sure if I'm heading towards home or away from it.