Monday, August 20, 2007

Good Start

I feel good about the progress this weekend, after a summer of not getting much of anything done. I unpacked 2 boxes of kitchen stuff and found a few things to get rid of. I now have my wine glasses washed and in the china cabinet, and a few other things out and about. There is getting to actually be a pile of things in the area where I put the 'to be given away' stuff. I got a lot of paper piles sorted, shredded, tossed and generally got the main room cleaned up again. I even cooked supper last night. Small things, but still more than I have been able to do all summer.

I'm feeling good about having a week to get myself ready to interview for the other job. If it actually happens it will be a huge change for me. Better to have had time to process that before I have to answer questions. I got some of the backlog of paperwork done for the current job. I am feeling good about tying up loose ends of things. I guess that means I'm ready to move on.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Coming To Life

Slowly some of the things are getting done around here. The heat makes it difficult. It's been over 100 degrees every day for 2 weeks or more. I did finally break down and get a small window air conditioner unit for the bedroom. The cat was getting sick, being in the hot house all day. That is getting better, too. Now, if the weather would just break and it get at least somewhat cooler.

I'm waiting to see if Buddy is coming over this morning to start the movement of equipment and such to take over the bees. I'm finally giving them away. He has no air conditioning in his truck, so I'm thinking he won't make it this morning. We can't move the bees in this heat, but I was hoping to start some of the equipment on it's way out of here. Ah, well, all in good time.

The new job is still in process. This is a good thing since I don't make major shifts in reality quickly and well. One or the other, quickly or well. I have the paperwork in, but now the immediate supervisor is out of town for a week. Fine with me, gives me time to ponder and figure out just what changes will need to be made. Even if I don't get this particular job this is a good thing for me to be doing right now. As I move bee equipment out of the storage building I will move things from in the house out there. Clearing out and cleaning. Moving some of the stale energy around. Hopefully getting rid of some things in the process.

Looking way off over the horizon, this job could potentially kick me into what I've been saying I want, selling this place and getting an RV or houseboat and living like that. The river is not far from the home base of this job. An RV could maybe be taken on some of the travel locations for housing. Of course, till I know more about all this I can't really say what I will need to do. It is interesting to look around and think about what I would actually pay to store and what isn't worth paying folding money to keep. Helps with the clearing out process.

So that is what's going on around here. Lots of laying by the air conditioner, pondering, and some sorting and getting rid of things.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Divine Insecurity

I've mentioned Lloyd Kahn's blog here before. I really, really enjoy reading his takes on life and what he's doing. It's at . The latest thing he wrote that has me pondering is this:

Heard Baryshnikov on the radio yesterday, talking about doing a performance in front of a screen showing him dancing when in his 20s, dancing with an image of himself when 40 years younger. The interviewer asked him about dancing these days, was he worried about performing? He said he liked the pressure, the challenge, and the "divine insecurity" of trying something difficult…

That phrase, divine insecurity, is a good way to describe the pull of trying new things, pushing past everyday routine. It is something that I struggle with, constantly trying new things and then pulling back into the security of what I already know. Sometimes when going into that insecure area I find my limits. This house would be one of those. It is beyond my current ability to work on remodeling it. Maybe when the weather cools down again. Sometimes when I'm in the insecure world I find new things that I incorporate into my life with glee. A lot of times I just run back to routine and safety after a bit to look back out on my recent adventures and lick my wounds and ponder if I learned anything from it.

I may be about to jump into that Divine Insecurity with a vengeance. I am trying for a new job. These folks already (hopefully only half-) kiddingly asked when I can start. I said 2 weeks. My mom was surprised that I would give 2 weeks notice at my current contract. I said, no, 1 week notice and a week to get my life organized. This job would be almost all travel, for weeks at a time. Most likely making enough money to save up for my AT hike in a few years. And, pushing everything I ever knew about computers, servers, software, network administration, and training to limits I've not done before. I'm reaching for the ginkgo biloba as I type (the mind needs all the help it can get to cram new info into it).

I don't know what I'll do about the house, the cat, about much of any of my life as it currently is. I'm not going to get wild about changes until I have an offer in hand. But, the thinking about making the leap is getting me excited and blowing life into the stale energy around here.