Saturday, December 02, 2006

The day I've been waiting for

Today is the day I've looked forward to for over a year. I'm in my new house (at least all my stuff and animals are in one location now), and I have nothing serious hanging over my head. I am no longer rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. I'm not sure if the ship went down or not, but I am at least momentarily on stable ground.

Ok, enough with the philosophy. I have a normal Saturday planned. Laundry is happening, and the new hoses don't leak. I am starting to really think about what I want to do to the house first. I am getting the normal chores done. I am making progress. That last is what I haven't felt like I've made much of this past year. Progress.

About a year and a half ago I looked at the ladder of progress I was climbing and realized a few things. First of all, I was not really climbing anymore. I was at a standstill. A post on a message board I hang on talked about how you can't steer a stationery ship, so even a move in the wrong direction is an improvement. I also realized that one reason I was at a standstill was that the ladder was leaning on the wrong wall. It wasn't going anyplace I really wanted to go after all. So, it was time to make a change. I certainly didn't think it would take this long. It was a very deep and comfortable rut I had to blast myself out of. Now that the ship is moving, it is time to start steering it again.

I have been out with friends several times this week. That alone is an improvement. Last night Dementia cooked dinner for a few of us as a way to give Oddball and Panya some calm space and comfort. I went basically to be supportive of them, and ended up staying for dinner and some wine. It was nice to spend time with people I enjoy. Critch is renovating his new house and looking at the materials he is using and what he is doing was educational and has motivated me in ways that I hadn't been before. I'm not alone in this stuff! I am actually excited to get back working on the laundry room again... not that I've started yet this morning, mind you.

Now hopefully this blog will become a record of movement and progress, not just a place for me to whine. As I move through this day and weekend I will be thinking about what I want to accomplish.

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