Assimilated

I continue to be assimilated. I went to an outlet mall yesterday after I got the servers built. I spent approximately $200 and bought 3 pair of shoes, 2 pair of socks and 3 pair of slacks. I got 2 pair of Tommy Hilfiger pants and one pair of dockers. The dockers were on a clearance rack, one of 3 pair in my size. They were the only non-jeans pants in the women's side of the... DOCKERS... outlet store. sigh. And I now own tommy Hilfinger clothing. Me. Double sigh. But, I did get things on sale (the pants were 50 percent off at least) and more or less what I was looking for. I got 3 pair of Naturalizer shoes. They are really winter shoes (hence the sale), but at least they should fit what everyone else thinks I should wear. If not, then at least I tried.

I will now need to send some things home in the mail or I'll be overweight again. I also need to inventory what I have with me now. On simpleliving.net there is a thread in the organizing section on picking a 'set' of clothes and only wearing those clothes for a month. Most women are settling on about 20 items. I'm pretty sure (actually I'm positive) that I have more than that. That site always has some kind of challenge going to make us think of just how much stuff we have and hang on to that requires storage space and energy to keep track of and such. Another theme there is '100 things' as one woman tries to keep her total possessions down to around 100 items. Size of living space is also talked about a lot. There is a website that shows people in Hong Kong who live in public housing that is a 10'X10' room or 100 square feet. So, of course now there is a thread on 100 things in 100 square feet.

These threads are good to make me look around at all the stuff I still have, and all the room I'm spread out in at home. So, here in the hotel room (which is larger than 10X10) I have a subset of my 'stuff'. I'll inventory it and count it, but I'm fairly sure I have more than 100 things with me. Hell, with my 3 new pair of shoes I have (counting a pair of shoes as 1 thing) 8 pair of shoes alone.

Today's list of things to do on my day off include laundry and walking on the treadmill. I have no excuse at all not to start working out. The major time and stress period of the fielding for me are over. So, I'll do laundry and then inventory my clothing and see just what I have brought along after all. Then I'll figure out things that I can send home so save the weight.

Houston

This is one of those relaxed times on a fielding. It's Saturday morning, and I don't have to go in to work. I will, because I want to be ahead of things. The person I most need to finish training is the only one who will be around, and that will be good. We can build the systems in a relaxed atmosphere, and I can explain more of it to him. The class went well, only 5 in the class this time. That is about the right number of students. All were older and took it seriously. A couple had deployed previously and had to learn a system by just having it handed to them. They really paid attention so that they will know what's going on when they deploy again.

I almost lost my voice. I am reacting strongly to something here, and it is mostly at night. By mid-day I don't have a sore throat and my voice, while still raspy and deep, is strong again. They moved me to a nicer room that has been renovated recently. Last night wasn't nearly as bad. I was almost ready to head to the ER again Thursday night. This time it is right across the street from the hotel at least. I do not want to live in a low-lying, flat, humid place like this for any length of time. This is one of the good things about all this traveling. I'm scratching off or moving down the list a few places I had wanted to visit previously.

I'm having a difficult time realizing that 'I' am currently a Silver member of the Marriott rewards club, and by the end of this fielding I'll be a Gold member. It doesn't get me a lot, other than maybe a free night at the Marriott on St. Thomas if and when I ever go back. Somehow getting elevated status at the Holiday Inn didn't hit me as being so weird.

Out Again

I'm in Houston, TX now. I'm not impressed so far. It has been an unfriendly town to me today. The airport is confusing, and not many folks there to ask how to find things. The hotel is not particularly friendly, and my room not only doesn't have a kitchen, there isn't even a fridge or microwave. This is bad, in that it means that even for a simple meal I'll have to eat out. Which mean unless I want the Burger King (I don't like BK), I'll have to coordinate a ride. Even keeping cokes in the room isn't an option. Sigh.

A funny from last week at work: A co-worker asked for a script file I had, and I reached into my pocket and pulled out the contents. I had a knife, my micro leatherman tool, 2 thumbdrives and a lipstick. He laughed and said I seemed to be prepared for anything.

I didn't want to leave home this time. I wanted to stay with my cat and sit and drink coffee. I got some things done while home this time, stuff donated, other stuff relocated to the shed. It is a bit (just a bit) less cluttered. But, I didn't want to leave. I have got to pay off the debt so I can stop HAVING to work at things I feel iffy about just to make big money. I keep running the numbers. If I was to keep my nose to the grindstone and stop spending money I don't need to, in a year and a half I'll have the CC debt paid. I could have the house paid off 5 or so years after that. If I choose to keep the house. That is good, but I don't really want to work 7 more years like this. Just gotta keep paying stuff down and getting rid of things I don't use or need.

A goal this trip is to walk on the treadmill at the hotel every day. Haven't done it yet today. It is still possible. I do remember that I said this year is the 'get into shape' year as I get ready to hike. In October is a decision point. I should decide by then if I want to keep the house long term or not. In the meantime, I am putting some money into it. First the appliances (paid with cash). Next is the driveway which needs a lot of attention. After that the cost of what needs to be done gets higher, and I really need to decide what my priorities are.

Journaling

I finally have some framework for what I think I want to accomplish before I leave. Good, since it is the 3rd day of the 3 day weekend. So, I start laundry and then put on shoes and go out to start bringing in the pieces of the second shelving unit. It's too heavy to bring in without unpacking it and just carrying the pieces in. On the second of what will take a dozen trips the nice overcast morning turned into a hard rain storm. So, I'm back on the computer.

I'm feeling somewhat bored with the journals I currently read, and bored with my own. So, I started going to some of the ones listed on Madcap Mum's journal sidebar. I went to 3, and all of them have not posted since the end of the year. That is 5 or 6 months. A couple of them even admitted defeat. One, a fourth, was pulled and not even available anymore. Is this journaling harder than it looks, as I've found? Or a phase that the internet and society have gone through that is waning? Did the people not find what they thought an on-line journal would provide, fill a need they thought they had, provide a solution to some set of problems that continued even after dutifully journaling?

I am seeing it in some of the hikers on the AT, too. The start of the hike begins with hope and promise and the newness, a chance to reinvent who and what they are. Then, after awhile it is just getting up every morning to eat a boring breakfast, find water, and walk. Always to walk. So, the talk stops being about what is seen on the trail, the people and places. It becomes the miles walked that day, and how many more to go, and when they might finish. Not across the board with every hiker. Some leave the trail because of injury, some family pressures, some boredom.

So, I'm feeling the restless boredom also. Things are going well. I'm in the middle with no new issues for now. This should be good. However, I'm feeling weighted down by the familiar. The shifting and sorting through the things that have been piled on corners brings up uneasy emotions. To get rid of? It seems like I'm turning my back on my past, but is that all bad? To keep? That seems stagnant, heavy.

The rain is slowing. I need to get up and get moving. My thoughts today seem as dark and gloomy as the weather.

Day 2

Yesterday I put together one of the shelving units. Understand, I've drooled over these things for years at Sam's. At $80 a set they were way out of my league. But they just look so SUBSTANTIAL and they have wheels on them! Obviously if I just had some of these my life would magically organize itself! Reality: they are a bitch to put together. The materials are solid and heavy, no problems with that. The method of attaching the shelves to the legs is awful. Cheap plastic sleeves that the shelf slides over and holds via friction. The idea is ok, the execution is where the issue is. The sleeves are 2 halves, and they didn't snap closed over the leg. So, when I lowered the (heavy!) shelf onto them, most of the time they popped off at least one of the 4 corners. I persevered and I have one unit built and loaded with my computer geegaws that have been packed in a corner of the living room.

Today I want to get out to the shed and clean it out and move a lot of the stuff in the living room pile out there. The first idea was to use the second set out there. Now I'm thinking I'll use it for the stuff remaining inside. Guess I make that decision as I get into the process.

Shiloh called last night. He's about 160 or so miles from half-way on the AT. He talks more about when he will finish than about the trail now. I'm taking notes that somewhere around Pearisburg, VA the experience of the trail seems to change. I think it's called the Virginia Blues.

I may update on my progress later this evening. Knowing I need to report here may keep me more on track today. Maybe.

Ok, Ok

I've been bad again about not updating this journal. I got home fine, and have had no re-occurrence of the chest pains. That was what was so weird about the pains, I've never had anything like that before, and haven't had any since (knocking on wood).

Since I've been home I went out and spent my 'tax rebate' and my expense check from the trip on new appliances for the house. I was tired of living with a hot plate to cook, and a dorm size fridge for the 2 of us. Sooo, Lowes got the majority of the money. I have nice, new kitchen appliances. A friend of Mom's was selling her new(ish) washer and dryer for cheap enough, so I bought them to replace my (still working sorta) set. I'm giving my old ones to a co-worker for her daughter who just got her own place and has a kid.

I bought some large, rolling shelving units last night at Sam's on the way home. I'm planning to have one in the house to organize all the crap... err, stuff I have piled in a corner in the living room, and one in one of the outdoor barns so I can move a bunch of the rest of the crap... err, cool stuff that doesn't need to be in the house at this point. That is the goal for this 3 day weekend.

I leave again a week from Monday, gone for 3 weeks, back for 2 weeks, and gone for 3 weeks yet again. I really want to leave a house that is clean and organized. Hope I make it. Oh, and I've paid off over $5K in credit card debt since the first of the year. Another year and a half, if I can keep the rest of my expenses low, and I should have it knocked out. However, if I have to get a new car, or many of the home improvements needed... I just keep paying as much as I can while backfilling on the stuff that I let go for so long from not having any money.

To go, or not to go

Yesterday was a laid back morning. Not much going on. Pretty much finished with real work here and surfing the web. We went to lunch at the small local sandwich shop where I go every workday. I got a bowl of really good chicken mushroom soup, which I had gotten a cup of the day before. Then, while walking back into the building from the parking lot it happened. I got extremely sharp chest pains in my left breast area. I held my breath waiting for the pain to subside. It didn't. I kinda curled my shoulder around and protected the area with my left arm. It still hurt, a lot. I stopped walking completely. The two women with me stopped and looked back. I slowly got into the building, and the pain was still sharp. They had me sit down. The pain started to not be breath-taking sharp, but still was there. We found my team lead and he asked what I wanted to do. What I wanted was for him to make that decision. I'm over 50. But I have no prior history of heart disease, or any family history of it. I don't smoke, don't drink alcohol very much and I'm 115 lbs. But it hurt like hell. Co-workers gathered, looking concerned and waiting for me to make a decision. I couldn't decide, couldn't come out and say, yes, lets go to the ER. I had them page the Unit's medical guy. He made the usual comments, that I should go to the ER, that time was an issue. I asked about secondary symptoms, none of which I had. The pain had backed off a bit, but still hurt way more than it should have 20 minutes after it had started.

I ended up going to the ER. Two co-workers dropped me off on their way to another errand. I said I was fine to stay alone, and walked into the ER. One of them stayed until I was acknowledged, and then left reluctantly. They got me in quickly, on a heart monitor, gave me an aspirin and then something else to help my stomach, even though I said I didn't need it. While drawing blood the technician said I seemed dehydrated. I stood for the chest x-rays. Then I catnapped on the gurney in the ER room for a couple of hours waiting on the results. The two co-workers stopped back. I said that I was ok, the pain was gone since the aspirin, and they should just go on. When they turned me loose from ER the diagnosis was inflamation of the cartilage between my ribs and breastbone. I went to the waiting room to call for a ride, and Willy was there. He hadn't really wanted to leave me the entire time, and had sat there and waited for me. We called the team lead for a ride back to work, and then headed home after gathering up our stuff from there.

I didn't feel well that evening. Jimmy, the other co-worker noted from the heart monitor that my resting heart rate was 90. That is too high. That is me not doing anything to get into shape and drinking waaay too much caffein. This was a wake-up call. Not sure for what, but I'm drinking water this afternoon. I still don't feel up to even just a stroll on the treadmill at the hotel. I can tell my heart is still running around 90 bpm. I also know that when someone is having chest pains I won't just look at them with questioning eyes waiting for them to make a decision. That was the one thing I didn't want to do, be the one to decide. So, if someone looks hesitant at all about whether they should go to ER, I'll dump them into my truck and take them. The person in pain is not the one to be deciding if it's serious enough or not. That just adds to the stress.

Time is Draggin On

I'm STILL in Lansing. The fielding continued to go well, and I am basically finished with my part. However, it is Monday, and my flight home isn't till Friday. I could go home, probably, but there is little incentive, other than getting home. So, I'm sitting in a room on site, killing time. Up until this morning there were things I did need to do. Maybe I'll think of some more.

I ended up spending money yesterday. First I made a $70+ order to Thru-hiker.com for hammock and hammock sock-making parts. Lightweight bug netting, grossgrain ribbon, cord and cordlocks should hopefully be waiting at the post office when I get home. I paid up my subscription to a message board I frequent, and then went to the mall and spent another $70 on gee-gaws from an import store that is going out of business. Two dragon statues and a couple of (cheaply) framed prints I liked. Hey, Oddball, I almost got you a dragon statue, too, but didn't know which one you would like. Getting them home may be interesting...

There is a meet-up of most of the folks I'd really like to see going on in Damascus, VA today. Shiloh, Lost, Zak and a few others all converge there at The Only Wanderer's house. Yet another thing I could have attended if I wasn't up here... doing the responsible thing... I'm hoping to hear from Shiloh this afternoon, and Lost later on, maybe in a week when she gets home.

I'm designing and redesigning my hammock-to-be and hammock sock-to-be. Hope I keep the enthusiasm to actually cut them out and sew them next week when I get home.

Time to make my hourly tour through the message boards to see if anyone is saying anything interesting.

Still in Lansing

I have today off work. I'm doing laundry, and I slept in. That is two of the main goals of my day off. This fielding so far has been fairly easy. I'm ahead of the curve (which is why I was allowed to take today (Sunday) off when everyone else was teaching), and the unit here is really easy to work with. I'm waiting for something to blow up and the entire situation hop into the proverbial handbasket and head south.

Heard from Shiloh the past 2 nights as he zeroed in Erwin.

Hmmm, the electricity just went off in the hotel.... ah, it came back on. I'd best to check my laundry.

Off Again

I'm in my motel room, this time in Lansing, Michigan. Tomorrow we inventory equipment and set up my classroom, then it's teaching the class again. I wasn't excited about leaving home this time for some reason. At this point it is just a job. I do think that it is the job I said I wanted, with the travel. And I do enjoy the travel. Lansing wasn't on my list of must-see places, but oh well.

I had a bad headache all afternoon. It is finally gone. I am unpacked. Next to get my equipment in order. I looked in on the pool and 'spa', which is a hot tub. For the first time traveling for work, this one looks clean enough to get into. I did bring my swim suit. We'll see. My room is nice, full kitchen and such.

So, I can tell already I'll be more than ready to head home before the 3 weeks is up. Heck, I was ready to head back as soon as I was at the Lansing airport. For some reason, Lansing from the air just didn't trip my trigger. Guess I got spoiled by all the fantastic scenery around Santa Fe.