The Wheel Keeps Turning

I figured out there are (at least) 8 things that need to happen by February, 2010 for me to start my thru AT hike. They are:

Get a job making enough money to finance everything
Pay off all non-mortgage debt
Fix up the house so I can sell it
Put at least $10K in hiking fund
Put at least $10K in fund to pay for things here while I'm gone
Put at least $10K in fund to live on after the hike
Sell house
Get myself into better physical shape

Those are the basics. Pretty much all but the getting into better shape depend on a job making good money. I now have that. So, a large part of my effort towards my hike will be spent on doing well in this job.

The main issue that has had me tied up in knots about taking this job is what do I do about the cat? I really, really like my cat. I really, really don't want to get rid of him. I even basically hung up on my Mom when the day after I took the new job she asked brightly if I'd found a home for the cat. Traveling for 3 weeks out at a time wouldn't work well with keeping the cat.

The answer came yesterday. I have a house sitter, someone who will not be here a lot, but will be here often enough to take care of the place and take care of the cat. He moved into the spare room yesterday. Well, he moved in after I cleared it out. Now I need to spend a lot of time/effort to find a place for all the junk, err stuff that I moved out of that room. I can keep the cat. I am happy.

Now I really need that week off between jobs to get organized around here. And, I need to get rid of A LOT of stuff.

___

I typed that the other day, but lost my internet connection before it posted. My connection here at the house is iffy sometimes. The housemate moved in, slept a few hours and went to work. Then he went back to KY for his days off with his family. I knew he was due back in town sometime today/tonight.

Around 4am I hear noises like someone is moving things around. This is an odd time, since he works midnights. Then I hear the unmistakable sound of something largish eating the cat's food in the kitchen. This seems odd even for this housemate. I gingerly turn on some lights and peae into the kitchen and see a tail dissappear behind the trash can. I call the housemate at work and ask if he, perhaps, brought a small animal into the house earlier? He says no. As we talked he suggested that I probably had a possum in the house.

I closed myself and the cat into my bedroom and tried to go back to sleep after assurances from said housemate that he would dispatch the possum when he got home this afternoon. I guess men are useful after all. Someone Else would take care of this intruder. The crunching sound began again. Sigh. I got up, put on shoes and peeked into the kitchen again, having left the lights on. Yes, a possum. In my kitchen. Eating out of my cat's bowl. I called the housemate again. His work partner suggested a broom and screaming. I swore under my breath. The broom was next to the possum.

So, I shut the cat up in the bedroom and when the possum hid behind the trash can again I got the broom. I opened the back door and slowly made my advance. Moving the trashcan out of the way, I looked at the largish (ok, it's 4am, anything is largish at that hour) possum cowering in the corner. I gingerly prodded it with the broom, housemate on the phone in my ear waiting for me to scream. It ran, but not out the door. It ran instead towards the housemate's bedroom, then veered into the other junk-filled bedroom next to it. I closed the door to that room and told the housemate where he could find the possum when he got home.

Of course, now it's close to 5am, and I can't sleep again. But, at least the cat can come out and I don't have to worry about rounding a corner and being surprised by the intruder. I washed the cat's food and water bowls, and cleaned the floor with bleach cleaner, just in case the animal has health issues. The idea of my cat and the possum tangling was actually my main worry. The cat wasn't at all concerned about the intruder, though. I'm wondering just how long the thing has been here...

Commentary on My Life

I had this conversation with a former work partner when I called to tell him about my new job:

Me: ... and I'll be making decent money again.
Him: Good. Now you can afford to buy a Television Set
Me (who NEVER watches TV): Television set?!? I already have one of those.
Him: THEN TURN IT ON. Get informed.
(he always has to tell me what the current news is before we can talk about it)
Me: Well, actually I'm thinking of getting rid of most things and moving into an RV.
Him: You always have to be that rebellious hippi, don't you. The non-conformist.
Me: Well, think how boring it would be if I was just like all of you normal people.
Him: Yeah, but us normal people get laid.
Me (sighing): Ok, you got me there...

Turn the Page

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice
what we are for what we could become." -- Charles Du Bois

I got the job. As of the 17th I will again be gainfully employed at a permanent (as in, not contract) job. There are some ifs/and/buts to finishing out the 90 day probation. As in, I have to get a Secret clearance (I've had one before) and I have to be ready to step in front of up to 20 people and give a 3 day class (only 20? only 3 days?) and the main consideration for me, what do I do with my cat while I'm off traveling for 3 weeks at a time. The money is good. I can get out of debt and fix the house and move on with whatever this next phase of my life is.

The main thing for me right now is that I feel alive again, excited. I have always felt at ease when I went into this place. They like me, they expect a lot from me. It feels good.

I gave a week's notice at my current contract. I have been told I am welcome to come back if I want/need to. That is good. I like leaving with the bridge intact. That hasn't always been the case when I've left jobs. I will then take a week off to take care of some things around here and then go off hiking for a day or so. I'm happy.

Good Start

I feel good about the progress this weekend, after a summer of not getting much of anything done. I unpacked 2 boxes of kitchen stuff and found a few things to get rid of. I now have my wine glasses washed and in the china cabinet, and a few other things out and about. There is getting to actually be a pile of things in the area where I put the 'to be given away' stuff. I got a lot of paper piles sorted, shredded, tossed and generally got the main room cleaned up again. I even cooked supper last night. Small things, but still more than I have been able to do all summer.

I'm feeling good about having a week to get myself ready to interview for the other job. If it actually happens it will be a huge change for me. Better to have had time to process that before I have to answer questions. I got some of the backlog of paperwork done for the current job. I am feeling good about tying up loose ends of things. I guess that means I'm ready to move on.

Coming To Life

Slowly some of the things are getting done around here. The heat makes it difficult. It's been over 100 degrees every day for 2 weeks or more. I did finally break down and get a small window air conditioner unit for the bedroom. The cat was getting sick, being in the hot house all day. That is getting better, too. Now, if the weather would just break and it get at least somewhat cooler.

I'm waiting to see if Buddy is coming over this morning to start the movement of equipment and such to take over the bees. I'm finally giving them away. He has no air conditioning in his truck, so I'm thinking he won't make it this morning. We can't move the bees in this heat, but I was hoping to start some of the equipment on it's way out of here. Ah, well, all in good time.

The new job is still in process. This is a good thing since I don't make major shifts in reality quickly and well. One or the other, quickly or well. I have the paperwork in, but now the immediate supervisor is out of town for a week. Fine with me, gives me time to ponder and figure out just what changes will need to be made. Even if I don't get this particular job this is a good thing for me to be doing right now. As I move bee equipment out of the storage building I will move things from in the house out there. Clearing out and cleaning. Moving some of the stale energy around. Hopefully getting rid of some things in the process.

Looking way off over the horizon, this job could potentially kick me into what I've been saying I want, selling this place and getting an RV or houseboat and living like that. The river is not far from the home base of this job. An RV could maybe be taken on some of the travel locations for housing. Of course, till I know more about all this I can't really say what I will need to do. It is interesting to look around and think about what I would actually pay to store and what isn't worth paying folding money to keep. Helps with the clearing out process.

So that is what's going on around here. Lots of laying by the air conditioner, pondering, and some sorting and getting rid of things.

Divine Insecurity

I've mentioned Lloyd Kahn's blog here before. I really, really enjoy reading his takes on life and what he's doing. It's at http://lloydkahn-ongoing.blogspot.com/ . The latest thing he wrote that has me pondering is this:

Heard Baryshnikov on the radio yesterday, talking about doing a performance in front of a screen showing him dancing when in his 20s, dancing with an image of himself when 40 years younger. The interviewer asked him about dancing these days, was he worried about performing? He said he liked the pressure, the challenge, and the "divine insecurity" of trying something difficult…

That phrase, divine insecurity, is a good way to describe the pull of trying new things, pushing past everyday routine. It is something that I struggle with, constantly trying new things and then pulling back into the security of what I already know. Sometimes when going into that insecure area I find my limits. This house would be one of those. It is beyond my current ability to work on remodeling it. Maybe when the weather cools down again. Sometimes when I'm in the insecure world I find new things that I incorporate into my life with glee. A lot of times I just run back to routine and safety after a bit to look back out on my recent adventures and lick my wounds and ponder if I learned anything from it.

I may be about to jump into that Divine Insecurity with a vengeance. I am trying for a new job. These folks already (hopefully only half-) kiddingly asked when I can start. I said 2 weeks. My mom was surprised that I would give 2 weeks notice at my current contract. I said, no, 1 week notice and a week to get my life organized. This job would be almost all travel, for weeks at a time. Most likely making enough money to save up for my AT hike in a few years. And, pushing everything I ever knew about computers, servers, software, network administration, and training to limits I've not done before. I'm reaching for the ginkgo biloba as I type (the mind needs all the help it can get to cram new info into it).

I don't know what I'll do about the house, the cat, about much of any of my life as it currently is. I'm not going to get wild about changes until I have an offer in hand. But, the thinking about making the leap is getting me excited and blowing life into the stale energy around here.

Human Nature

I went up to KY on a call this afternoon. My usual cheap (Flying J) gas station is at that exit. The one nearest the interstate is the cheapest, with the one a bit further down the road (Pilot) being usually a couple of cents higher per gallon. I've been paying around $2.80+/- 10 cents/gallon lately. On the way home I started to pull into the cheaper gas station to fill up. There was a traffic jam, folks liked up like sardines at every pump, and so packed that there was a line on the road just to get in. I don't get into that kind of chaos for any amount of money. So, I did a U turn and headed for the other station. I looked and the cheap price was $2.51/gal which I guess warrants that kind of mob for those who value their time and nerves less than I do. So, I go a quarter mile up the road, still within sight of the interstate, to the other station. The price difference? It was $2.53/gal, just 2 cents difference and within sight. I drove in, right up to a pump, and filled up with no waiting. What some folks will do for $.02/gal. With that many folks there had to be some of them who are local and know that the two stations are never that far apart in price. Oh, the BP station across the street? It was $2.89/gal, and no one was there...

Adjusting My Reality

I ordered a very large backpack from REI-Outlet and had it delivered to the store here for the free shipping. It came in yesterday. I had time to kill before a late call, so I actually had David from REI fit the pack to me. He filled it with fluffy weight. I was amazed when the 'pillows' he put in to fill out the pack almost pulled me over backwards when he let go and put the entire weight on the suspension of the pack I had strapped on. We weighed it when I took it off for him to make some adjustments. Mind you, I know I need to keep my pack weight down. The 23lbs I've been carrying has been child's play, I pretty much didn't feel it, at least not like I remember the backpacking trips of years ago where I would have multiple very sore spots where the pack belt and straps would rub. But, I figure if I just keep it below 35lbs I'll be fine.

This pack is not a rugged backpack. It is large, 85 liter. But it isn't a hardcore pack, and the suspension shows it. It's ok but not great. So, I knew that it wouldn't handle the very heavy weight he had put in it. When we weighed it, it was... 35lbs. That heavy brick of a pack was what 35lbs feels like. Now, I know that in a more expensive pack with better suspension I could carry 35lbs easier. But, darn. So, I'll be keeping the pack weight down even (or maybe especially) with this larger pack.

The 'big 4' weight is a benchmark in light weight packing. That is pack, shelter, sleeping bag and pad. I had figured that with the hammock, this pack, my Z-light pad and I think the lighter sub kilo 15 degree bag I was around 12lbs. Kinda on the heavy side for light-weight, but in the ballpark barely. With my much warmer North Face -20 degree bag, the Z-light, this pack and my ultra-light tent, I'm still around 12lbs. The tent is a couple of pounds lighter than my current hammock setup. So, I now have a winter setup and a spring/fall setup. From here on out it is tweaking to get lighter. I still have the ultra-light 45 liter pack, and if I go with the sub kilo bag and the ultra-light tent I have a very light setup. I am wanting to go with the hammock as much as possible, though, which is why I'm still playing with my setup.

Middle Again

It's again the middle of the month, middle of the summer, middle of my blahs. Nothing going on but work and getting on the computer most of the time I'm home, just reading about what others are getting out and doing. I haven't gone and tried to buy a new car yet, just not in the mood. I have decided to give the bees away, and will carry through with it this time. Still getting by with no air conditioning in the house, but it is getting a bit more miserable. I will give myself the option to go get a window air conditioner, it's not the money. It's this thing where I think I have to prove something. I have to not need all the fancy smancy modern technology (just don't take my computer!) that others need. I can get by in a hammock or living out of my truck or... But, I'm not doing that, either. I have the worst of both worlds, trying to hang onto this house and all it's trappings and the yard that needs tending to, but not taking the rest of the time and effort to make it really liveable.

I'm hanging on for late August. If memory serves, about the time you detect a bit of a twinge of color start creeping into the leaves and think maybe it is because of lack of rain and not impending autumn, my mind and energy and resolve will return. I was this useless last year, too, and I had a nice house that was cool. By next year I just need to plan for this, and be in a position not to need to do anything from early June till late August.

Easy Saturday

I am supposed to go car shopping today. I should be excited. I'm not. I'm not excited, and I'm not sure I'll actually go shopping. The day is young yet, we'll see. I will trade in the Stanza, if I can get it running enough to drive to the dealership. The battery is dead, not sure what else may be wrong with it. At some point I'll get dressed and spray on bug spray and wade into the weeds and run the battery charger cables out to it. I've decided to have no plan.

The problem is, the truck is getting harder to start. Not sure if it's the alternator or the starter. It's not the battery, according to Advance Auto Parts store, who would have been quite happy to sell me a new one. If I was really as gung ho as I once was, I'd pull the alternator and starter off the truck and take them in and have them tested, buy whatever was broken, and fix the darn truck myself. But, I may just take Monday off and take the truck in to have it worked on. Who knows. I'm not in the mood to make a decision.

I took a benedryl capsule last night. It mellowed me out. I slept well. And I feel good this morning. I may try that for awhile. Since I've been using the benedryl gel on my legs for the bug bites, I started feeling better. Maybe all this lethargy is really something as simple as allergies after all. Several of my friends are having depression issues lately, too. It's something to ponder, if maybe is it really a medical condition and not so much mental as we all think.

I got the yard mowed on the 4th, and it feels better driving home of an evening to see it mowed. I still have a LOT of weedwhacking to do, but all in good time. I'm still pondering how to live away from people, cheaply, and not have a lot of yard maintenance and home repair issues. Cheap housing == lot of work to fix and/or maintain and room away from people == land that usually needs some kind of maintaining. An RV in a semi-permanent park means little maintenance, but close people and small spaces. I just don't know...

I am (mostly) enjoying not having air conditioning. I have actually aclimated. I sweat now, which is a good thing really. I don't get sick in the heat like I used to. I enjoy the breeze when it happens. Yes, 90 degrees in the house when I get home isn't totally pleasant, but it's not as bad as I used to suffer getting in and out of the truck in the heat when my body craved being in air conditioning constantly. Since I work out of my truck and don't sit in the cool all day, this works for now. And, I'm enjoying the $40 electric bills instead of $100+. This is just a note to remind myself that it's not as miserable as I thought it would be, and not as miserable to me as it is to others who might visit who are not aclimated to the heat.