Four Peaks in snow

Thursday, May 01, 2014

My clothes don't fit

Not just size, but nothing feels right.  I'm changing, although not in ways that are obvious.  I realize it by the external evidence.  Nothing feels right when I put it on.  Nothing looks right.  People relate to me differently lately.  I am not interested in some of the things I used to be interested in, and I'm not finding a lot to take the place of those interesting things in my life. I'm not sure what I'll be like on the other side of this, but I wish it would materialize already.

I'm taking the opportunity to continue to unpack.  Just today as I was going through the extra luggage... what?  You don't have extra luggage.  Well, I have a luggage facination, so I have lots.  And inside of some of this luggage, that was packed away in a large plastic tote, were some of the clothes I've vaguely wondered about.  So, now I have piles of more clothes to figure out where to put them away.  Some I need to try on.  The pants, I'm thinking that they were put back for a reason, but darned if I can remember why.  This is why I'm trying to unpack everything and go through it, I tend to stash items inside other items and forget where I put them.

That's what has been going on.  Vague discomfort, my world feeling tilted and trying to not fight it and let the way out suggest itself.  Work is still in a holding pattern.  I tend to walk around there angry as often as not, mostly because I can't get comfortable and make a plan.  No one seems to know what is going on.  So, I'm headed to Las Vegas again next week on my days off.  I need a change in perspective.


  1. I think I missed a post or two... I'm thinking your dental appointment was a concern, but it sounds more serious. I sure hope everything is okay.

  2. Dental appointment was fine. Not moving on the implant for now, and may have waited too long anyway. Bone loss has taken a toll, I think. Nothing is 'wrong'. Just feeling unsettled.

  3. I can relate to those times when nothing felt or worked right. Tomorrow I plan to shop for a dress or a skirt that can be casual but a little dressier than pants, and I know I'm going to be frustrated. Everything I see is way too young for me, although I'm not ready for anything matronly. I hope you get a fresh outlook in Vegas.