Middle of the week

I have the blahs. The weather is cooler, but not enough to inspire me to do anything after work to move along towards any of my goals. I am having anxiety attacks most mornings before work. This job is not hitting me in my strong suits in many ways. The technical work is fine, but I hate having others arrange my day and I don't find out what I'll be doing till that morning, even what county I'll be in or what time I might get off work. I keep saying that I want to move before getting into serious job hunting, but I get anxious about actually making a move on that, too. It did occur to me that I could at least call one of the bottom feeding brokers to see how they work, to see if they will be an option or not. Some loose ends are slowly getting tied up, but I'm feeling stuck.

I am also realizing how many areas I feel uneducated in. I went in to a used book store yesterday, and just looking around made me realize that I could spend most of my time in study and just scratch the surface of what I feel I should know. History, politics of the world, cooking, literature of the rest of the world - saw a couple of books on the literature of Japan... - and that is just a sampling of the liberal arts side.

There is a hamfest in Huntsville on Saturday. I am thinking of driving down for it. I am also thinking 'I should stay home and work on the houses...' but I always think that and I am also saying I need to get out and do more fun things. Some of the guys I talk to in the chat room will be there. Still haven't decided. And, the KY state fair is going on now, starts tomorrow. I try to get up there one day while Nancye is working her facepainting booth there. Last year I made it on the last day of the fair. I was also thinking of going up there either Saturday or Sunday. I may just decide when I get out of bed on Saturday what I'm going to do.