Special Day? 10-10-10

So far 10/10/10 has been fairly normal, for here.  I'll wander out (my mis-spelling yesterday morning of wonder for wander may have been a Freudian slip) later and perhaps change my mind.  It may be when I finally stop the 'waiting' and start the 'living'.  Who knows.  I've been reading blogs while drinking my first cups of coffee.  So far I've threatened Ben down in Texas with a swarm of blond female programmers who will program him inside out for his blond joke in his morning blog.  Not sure that sounded like a bad thing, though.  I've read a few that are talking about fall chores and self sufficiency.  I used to attempt the path of self-sufficiency.  That is why I still have a house on 3 ac. back in Nashville.  I wanted to garden, have chickens and goats and make my own soap and shut out the world.  I didn't get far because of money issues, and lack of confidence (the real reason...).  I still read those type of blogs, and live vicariously.  I looked around my hotel room, and realized the reality of not having any season related chores.  Partly because down here in Honduras, there isn't any real change in seasons.  Mostly because I don't have a house and land.  I eat literally all my meals out since at this point I don't even have a microwave.  At some point I became more interested in hiking the AT (Appalachian Trail) than in self-sufficiency.  It really is the same idea, but coming from a different angle.  To live for 6 months with what I carry on my back,  buying food to resupply as I go.  Instead of stockpiling everything, I just use less.  That has resonated more with me as time has gone on.  Just need less.  I have been attracted to the idea of minimalism as the natural progression from backpacking.  Get to where all I actually own will fit in a studio apartment or, even better, an RV.  This has been the difficult part for me.  I have so much stuff.  And, that is relative.  I got rid of somewhere close to half my stuff when I moved to Washington State 2 years ago.  I put half of what was left into storage in Nashville, and loaded what was left into a large truck, put my Jeep on a trailer behind and drove it out to my new home.  When I got this job in Honduras there didn't seem to be any way to afford to send my stuff back to Nashville, since it wasn't considered part of my 'relocation', so I am having it shipped down here.  357 cubic feet of stuff.  That represents some minor (relatively) pruning during the time I was in WA.  At the moment I'm living out of my suitcases in a hotel.  I have so much stuff just in 3 suitcases and a backpack that I can't keep track of it all.  Last night I 'lost' my stash of money and credit cards.  I honestly couldn't remember where I put them.  I started unpacking everything, knowing that it all had to still be in my room since I hadn't left the room.  I did find it.  I also became somewhat overwhelmed with the amount of clothing and other things I brought with me.  In the process of talking to Mom on Skype I knocked over a cup of coffee to the floor.  I have no paper towels here, and the only towel they give me is one bath towel, which is white.  I used toilet paper to clean up the spill.  This morning I remembered that I have a chamois with me, brought as part of the 'camping' things that I thought I might need.  It hadn't occurred to me to use it the week I've been here.  It would have been good to use when I hand washed some things, to get the water out more before hanging them to dry.  I have so much stuff I don't know what I have.  And, it's just 2 suitcases, a carry on, and a day pack.  sigh.

So, this is the thought process I start when I read of yard chores (with the associated rakes and hoes and tillers) and cleaning out of garages (sports equipment, yard furniture, etc) and such.  I look around my disheveled hotel room and think 'I don't want the responsibility anymore'.    I'm not sure any of this makes any sense.  It's just where I'm at this morning.  I'm thinking I need some breakfast.  So, I have to put shoes on and walk downstairs.  Am I cheating?  I'm not growing my food, not even buying it at the store.  Did I cheat by leaving the country until the economy gets better and I can afford to come back?  I don't know anymore.  In fact, at this point, I don't know much of anything it seems.